Reflections of My Year!

            John 15:1-11 says, “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is thrown away as a branch and dries up; and they gather them, and cast them into the fire and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My disciples. 9 Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.”

            Junior year at Grace University has been like a roller-coaster that no one wants to be on… drama from previous years to drama between my friends on campus and me. I can truly say the only reason I am still going strong is that I decided to abide in Christ, what he wants for my life. I have chosen to follow Christ no matter what the circumstances…. Life is never easy but it can always grow you in some way. This semester He has truly grown my patience and my ability to love even though I do not like the person I am showing love toward even though I know I am supposed to show love. I know their life is not always easy but when they are complaining about small things and I have a bigger stress in life all I want to do is show them that the world has and never will revolve around them.

            Co-leading a prayer group is truly helping me give all of my struggles and temptations to him and not bottle them up for myself. I cannot do anything without Christ and I know that, You, God, have shown me this through the toughest times of life but it seems that all that knowledge  has been lost this semester and I do not like it… Thank goodness, for Amanda and Shea, the amazing surrogate siblings they are, or else I do not know if I would be in the place I am right now…

            Lord, every little thing seems to be annoying me about certain people and the situations between close friends and these people and I know that you, God, have a plan but why does it have to be so hard for me to deal with every day? Why when I thought this was all in your hands, do I still feel tied to the ground in stress about every little word I say around a couple of people because I feel it would cause terrible division in our friendships? It is never easy to have a relationship in the friend group that you do not fully agree with, but I do not know why I do not agree with the relationship what is it that is making me mad about it? This semester has not been the easiest for me because of the things going on… I am not for sure what or why these things are taking such a toll on me when I know they should not be taking the toll they are on me. Why when I feel like I can love everyone in the world, I find myself disliking certain people in the world? When life is making lemonade I am not giving any lemons and it is starting to make me upset with myself and in turn that being upset is showing up in different aspects of my life. God only you can help in these situations and although they make me upset and want to just prove that the world revolves around no one on this earth but you. It is in your hands God every little thing. Lord no matter what all I want is pure joy... never ending! Amen!